FARAH is HER name

my brain gonna explode!!!!

2009-12-29T15:12:00.002+08:00

Remember about my presentation last week?
guess what? actually my lecturer said it was not well done. he's lying, dammit!
he just dont wanna embrassed our group in front of the class.
and and and... the saddest part- my lecturer said one of our group members did a bad presentation... guess who sia? me la seyyy.. of course!! eventho he dun wanna name a name. but seriously, i was damn sad sia... errrghhhh!!!!

btw, my 2 assignments deadline is 5th jan & 9th jan.. omg! i dunnoe if i manage to finish it by next wk... insya Allah~ heee.
frankly, i dunnoe if im on the right track. the assignment damn tough la sia...
~~NO PLAGIARISM~~
then i really have to rephrase everything... like.. how about i hate rephrasing words... dammit! haiya..... thank God the mr kewat's assignment is not that bad.... 500-750 words je... yg mr apek punye 1500 words.. amek kau!!!!! hmmm... mati seyy... eh lupe... be careful what u wish for... ehheheh.

klah.. gtg.. get ready for sch..
take care darls~
hugs and smoochies..

p/s: thanx soo much for everything, dear.

u made my dreams come true.

i really appreciate everything..

ILY

I LOST MY HP!!!!

2009-12-20T01:05:00.006+08:00

I lost my LG phone..., which i bought it like TWO bloody month ago?

most probably, inside the cab that i took to work... haish.... if only i knew it would lost, i will keep my hp properly inside my bag. or maybe i keep it inside my pocket. dammit! i'm soo sad. BTW BTW, I THINK I WISH TOOO HARD. I DIDNT CONTENTED WITH WHAT I HAVE NOW. THE DAY B4, I TOLD NURUL I WANT IPHONE. COZ MOST OF MY CLASSMATE HAVE IPHONE. so yarh... learn from it peeps,

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

then after that at work, my manager scolded me.. as normal, i should be a 'role model'. so ~~NO MISTAKE AT ALL for me....~~ what can i do? so listen and accept it la...

and the next kimak part, the next day which is just now i had class presentation abt 'principle of attraction'. how abt my group just realized on thurs that our presentation is on sat?? ape lagi... we were sooo panic.. give out our topic to search... they also said, we jz hv to find words to present... yesterday i worked 12-10. so i dont really have the time to do some research. then just now guess what, they didnt do my slide so last min giler babi i have to do my slides.. my point and explanation all merepek.. kat depan class time present, my group did a great job la.. the class really interacted with them. laugh along.. but when my time come, everybody like staring at me weirdly. then i gave some examples, you know what, my lecturer said my examples are not relevent. like no studies shows that my example is acceptable. DEPAN ORANG K???? I'M THE ONLY ONE YANG DIE TEGUR. EVENTHO HE SAID, " OUR GROUP DID A VERY GREAT JOB. WELL DONE PRESENTATION." malu tau. feel like crying sia....

and now my mind is not working well. like i dun know how to think right now. soo many things on my mind... i still have 2 assignment and 1 more presentation to go... i need a break!! i wanna do well in my assignment for me to get 'A' again for my exam..... gtg. need some rest.

take care darls.

hugs and kisses.

Well, I know there’s a reason
And I know there’s a rhyme
We were meant to be together
That’s why
We can roll with the punches
We can stroll hand in hand
And when I say it’s forever
You understand

That you’re always in my heart
You’re always on my mind
And when it all becomes too much
You’re never far behind
And there’s no one that comes close to you
Could ever take your place
‘Cause only you can love me this way

I could’ve turned a different corner
I could’ve gone another place
But I’d a-never had this feeling
That I feel today

p/s: i'm sorry for being sooo cranky and annoying. i should understand you more, dear.

gua just pass beb!!!

2009-12-12T20:59:00.003+08:00

Hey guess what? my result is out!!!

yesterday my fren told me the result da keluar.. ape lagi... jadi giler kejap sey pikir result aku... dalam hati ehk.... "confirm aku fail... confirm aku fail... tapi klw just pass pun baek ah...." hahaha..

then sampai ruma malam sikit (biase jgk....) kelam kabot check letterbox beb..

wanna know my result? heeeee...

CASE STUDIES OF CLINICAL HEALTH AND ORGANIZATIONAL PSYCHOLOGY AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION- C

APPLIED BUSINESS PSYCHOLOGY- D.

just pass je beb... tapi jadila.... coz i dun have to studies those bloody tough modules anymore.... haha. alhamdulillah....
Honestly, i need to buck up and start my revision sia.... (if i want to get 'A' like the previous module, of coz. hee)
how about.....i already get my assignment? the deadline is next month. haiyaaaa.... die die must start now leii...
i guess i still havent learnt my lesson... NEVER DO THINGS LAST MIN.
degil beb.... tak serik² jugak... heee. =D

btw btw btw, tadi this one apek made my day at work. haha.
tadi jadi host japla coz this apek browsing through our menu...
then i was smiling at him...
he looked at my nametag..(i was like.. kau tengok nametag ke tengok bawah nametag?) then he tried to pronounce my name.
"far...ha...na..." i just smile... then he asked me... "arab?"
i thought he asked abt my name... name aku arab ke tak...
then i replied, "yarh, arab." then aku mcm blurr jap teroz aku tanye, "erm.. are u asking abt my race?" then he nodded. i said, "no. i'm malay." kau tau ape apek tuh jawab? heheee... malula.... die ckp... "u look like ARAB GIRL. so pretty. with u wearing that tudung, it really suits u." AWWWWWW... *blushing* heee..
bile aku tengah blushing tuh, die da jalan. tak sempat nk ckp thank you kat die... takkan nk kejar apek tuh kan... ahhahahaa. k lame!
he really made my day sia... thanx apek!

klah..gtg.
take care darl.
hugs and kisses.

p/s: saye sayang awak.

I'm tired. hmph,

2009-12-11T01:33:00.004+08:00

honestly, i'm like really no mood to go to work anymore.

always kena scold. from petty things to not-so-petty things.

but make it like as if it was a bloody big issue.

I'M EXHAUSTED BABE! FUCKING EXHAUSTED!

i'm tired of being the victim.

i'm tired of being the 'role model'

i'm tired of being sabar ALL THE TIME.

i wanna run away from everything...

can't take this pain anymore.

i don't understand why people try to tear us apart.

when this love is so beautiful and special to me.

something indescribable.

so much tears and heartache

yet my love for you is stronger than yesterday.

with all the drama in life,

your presence and touch soothes me down.

i'm willing to do anything for you.

i never knew i needed you soo much.

please hold me tight.

please convince me you never leave.

IM SOO IN LOVE WITH YOU.

P/s: i'm crying.

eeeerrrgghhh!!!!

2009-12-03T14:15:00.002+08:00

Dammit! i'm soo pissed off.
i need a rest.
and i'm really tired of rushing here and there.
and now here i am, trying to take some rest but somebody just ruin it.
fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gtg now.
will update soon.

NEW MODULE.

2009-11-26T16:25:00.002+08:00

new TWO module to study...

PSYCHOLOGY AND SOCIAL SCIENCE RESEARCH. (PSSR)
AND
PSYCHOLOGY OF GROUP DYNAMICS.(PGD)

last tues i had my PSSR module... errkkk.... it was damn boring. i keep yawning and doodling.
and yarh... i keep msging my friends.... like OMG!!! "bile nak break nie???"
and after break, my mind was like.... "alaaa.... bile nak habes nie???" so i guess you know im not concentrating in class. hahahaha...

but on the other hand.... thursday punye class... gerek beb.
the lecturer die kewat yerrr.... so funny and lembut. haha... kla...
i'm done. penatla....
take care.

colourful stories.

2009-11-19T14:44:00.008+08:00

you know i always been busy with school and work. no time to hang out with friends or even family. its like my life revolve around school and work. maybe more to work. because most of the time, i spent my whole day at work. but still gaji tak cukup. i need to change my job. yep. i know i keep saying that but i do nothing. no effort at all.

I'M TIRED AND SICK OF THIS JOB. SERIOUSLY.

i get my pay every 15th. so for the past few days, i'm quite rich. but now, i'm broke. surprise? yeah... i'm left with few bucks only.. like less than 100bucks for my 1 month expenses. haiya..... jual badan ah... hahahahaa... giler? tak kene rodok ngan makbapak da kire bagos.

btw, my exams was last week. damn it!!!! i revised every important hints but like hell, i forgot almost everything. yep! everything. u know i feel like angkat tangan dalam kelas then.."excuse me, can i read my book for a while?" or if they dont allow me(of course, like duh.) i will just look at my classmate, smile and say.. "selamat la ehk... gua angkat kaki dulu beb!" hahahaa... k lame!. -_-"
k... enough of my exams!!! bile teringat balek, macam nak MUNTAH and BERAK DARAH seyy.... kimek!

k change topic.... last two days (tues) i went out with TEMAN, HYRUN and MAZNI. ate at popeye. (my first time la seyyy..hehe.)
miss HYRUN and TEMAN sooooo much. soo kecoh.
kite bebual tkde pelan².. mesti kuat or to be precise bebual pekik²... maklomla sorang satu pekak. hahahha...
our plan was after eating at popeye, we want to go esplanade- just lepak² and story².
then to our surprise it was raining. heavy rain summore. so waste time kat situ jela... after that take cab to peninsula plaza.

TO MAZNI: NICE TALKING AND GOING OUT WITH YOU. YOU'RE SWEET DARL!!

TO TEMAN: DA, JANGAN NAK SENGIH²... HEHE. THANX FOR SPENDING TIME WITH ME. LOVE YA BEB!

TO HYRUN: AWWWW.. MY TEDDY BEAR~~ HEHE. THANX FOR THE BUBBLE TEA AND TAXI FARE. AND OF COURSE THANX FOR SPENDING TIME WITH ME. LOVE YA TOO BEB!

k... change topic lagi... yesterday after work, actually me, nurul, zali and fad plan nak tengok late night movie. so nurul semangat call and found out there's 11.40 movie slot at cathay cineleisure. so four of us took taxi (zali pay the taxi fare) and off to cathay cineleisure. sampai je disappointed seyy.. ade seat but separate. merepek kan? dengar² aku duduk kat kiri, nurul kat kanan, zali depan, fad belakang pastu bebual pekik² pe... then cancel our movie plan.. so guess what? karaoke la seyy... kite ajak Doris along (senyum sinis) then ape lagi...

terpekik la kite kat dalam bilik. hahaha... practise suare beb! kecoh giler.... dengan zali... what u expect? hahaha kla.... gtg. penat pulak cerite panjang kan... haus jari aku... heeee..
take care darls.
hugs and kisses.

HAPPY 43RD BIRTHDAY PAPA!!!!

CAKE PROMOTION.

2009-11-02T02:17:00.006+08:00

i'm exhausted.
i've been working alot these few wks. hopefully my pay also BOOM.
can do some shopping for myself. its been sooo farking long time since i shopping for myself.
alot of thing to put aside.
for the past 3 days, my work place had this 50% promotion for cakes. either cheesecakes or cream cake. the ppl alrdy start Q-ing ard 12. the cake promotion start at 2. me and yati had to take the order.
wallaweiiii~~~ the ppl soooooooo kiasu!!!! sampai jadi gadoh la beb~
mintak kene tumbuk sey nyonya tuh... she insisted to get the cake without Q-ing.
to her, she dine-in there so she has the privilage to just get the cake. bloody hell!
i said to her many times, "sorry mam, u have to Q for the cakes."
she replied, "but i eat here mah.... the Q soo long. its ridiculous. tell ur manager. i want the cake."
i just and her and said, "sorry mam. NO."
die bebual ape ntah... i still say NO. then my SC said to me let her handle that customer.

i was sooo farking tired.
31st oct was our last day promotion. lagi rabak beb.
i think i really had a bad day.
On my way to work, my water bottle cap tk tutup betol. then tumpah kene my uniform.
habes smue basah. terpkse curik aju dlm cabinet... hhaha.
then, the customer like p.........k.
then, when all cakes are sold out and so the promotion.
i went for makan with nurul.
my manager bad mood. everybody bad mood and pulled a long face at me.
i was like, WTH????
and yah... poor neediah.
i threw my tantrum at her.
i scolded her like mad because the bar was soooo bloody messy.
sooo sorry neediah. i hope u wont take it to the heart.
then, my manager saw that and scolded me back.
again, she added my anger.
i was fuming. like waiting for somebody to offer their head or atleast face.
and yah.. i didnt smile. i pulled a long face at everybody and refuse to talk.
but then, aft closing.
nurul talked some sense into me. i cried at her shoulder. i was a bit ok aft that.
thanx dear. love you.
then, nurul talked to my manager.
after that, my manager talked to me and said..."klw aku tk nk kau, aku tk akn simpan kau 2 tahun kt sini. selame nie aku tk pena puji kau ke? penah kan? aku phm smue org penat. but the way u talked to neediah is wrong. "
i only remember that. but dammit. i was llike..."farah... tkmu nanges lagi dpn die..." haha.
after that, i went home.
a lot of drama beb.

i learnt something.....

"NEVER EVER JUGDE PEOPLE BY THE SIZE OR APPEARANCE . COZ NOT ALL PEOPLE CAN BE TRUSTED."

BABY, I'M YOU.
I AM YOUR SOUL.
I AM YOUR HEART.
MY STRENGTH IS YOURS.
YOU'RE MY ONLY STARDUST.

exams, babat, dark circle.

2009-10-27T16:42:00.003+08:00

my exams is coming.

2 more weeks to be exact.

dammit!!!!!

i havent prepare anything. at all!!!

i really wanna get good marks again. but action speaks louder than words, right? haha.

better start now. haiyaaaa.....

i wanna lose my weight. or to be precise, lose my fats!!!!

BABAT!!!!!!! GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!

i was thinking of jogging, dieting, exercising... but damn... its really hard to start. haha.

errkk... do walking from my room to my kitchen consider as exercising too?

i wanna halau all my babat!!

and yarh... not to forget my best friends....

dark circle and eyebag.

hate them la!!!! try my best to sleep early, but cannot sleep leh...

haish... gtg. off to school. *yawn* boooooring!

take care yall..

hugs and kisses.

some words are better left unsaid

2009-10-18T17:44:00.006+08:00

helo peeps~ i'm backkkkkk!!

i've been through ups and downs these few months.

that sometimes makes me wanna give up on everything that i hold on in life.

that sometimes i dont know where should i turn to.

that sometimes makes me wonder do i still have my friends around me?

try to persuade myself, everything will be fine.

don't give up and be strong.

but that's not enough for me to stand tall.

being independant and try to survive by myself is damn hard.

i guess, no matter what... i still have to.

i remember,

people always say, if u have anything on your mind, just express it.

let it out... don't keep it to yourself.

but i've learnt that some words are better left unsaid.

some words might hurt us...

some words might break our heart.

some words might tear us apart.

trying to understand people better.

because maybe i keep hurting people without realizing that.

i'm sorry.

i didnt realize.

i'm sorry.

i didnt mean it.

i'm sorry.

im just not perfect.

i love you.

i'm happy with my result. =))

2009-09-11T02:26:00.006+08:00

helooo~~ i'm sooo happy today.

i went to sch with a BIG BIG smile.

i received my result via post. before i off to school.

guess what?? heeeee.. =D

CLINICAL AND HEALTH PSYCHOLOGY............. - A.

EMPLOYMENT ASSESSMENT AND LEADERSHIP

DEVELOPMENT ...........- B.

not bad righttt?? A ok?? distinction la siaaa...

ALHAMDULILLAH......

i never get A in my entire life until today. neither primary nor sec.

next module..

CASE STUDIES IN CLINICAL HEALTH AND ORGANIZATIONAL PSYCHOLOGY AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION..

AND..

APPLIED BUSINESS PSYCHOLOGY.

i really2 hope i can score this two module. quite tough actually. thats what my lecturer said.

Insya Allah.... aaamin.

k... i'm done! night everybody!!! =D =D =D

i wish i was somebody else.

2009-09-08T13:03:00.002+08:00

I'm speechless.

I'm breathless. i cant stop these tears from falling.

I need them.

I dont know how to stand tall.

I forgot how to be strong.

I hope He still wanna help me...

sometimes.... i just wish i was somebody else.

i HATE being myself.

WHAT THE HELL???

2009-09-05T23:45:00.002+08:00

dammit! i'm soo pissed off.

what the hell is wrong with u??

why u acting like this? why u treating me soo cold?

fine! i admit. i was wrong. i'm busy. i've neglected u.

but u should understand me better.

i'm fucking busy! i'm even tired with my own schedule.

i'm exhausted!

what it is again now???

THIRD WAR??????????

EEEERRRRGHHHH!!!!!!!

You are better than best! =)

2009-08-25T01:38:00.002+08:00

*yawn*
tomorrow schooling sia... new module... "APPLIED BUSINESS PSYCHOLOGY"
i really hope im gonna like this module. but business?? Dammit. doesnt sounds nice to me. haha.
*yawn*
i dont know why this fasting mnth like sooo tiring days to me. like no energy siaa...
like if i get seat in the mrt, in just a few sec i will start to sleep. i dont know if i snore. hopefully not. haha. but nganga? errrrmm... i bet i will nganga a bit. *paisey pulakkk... haha*
*yawn*
OMG! this is irritating... asek menguap jer dari tadi... stop it la... i reckon, i have to turn in now. cannot take it anymore. then have to wake up for sahur somemore. wallaweeiiii... *yawn*
klah... see u ard. take care.

P/s: YOU ARE BETTER THAN BEST.

Just hold on, cause i can be the one to give u more.

2009-08-23T01:03:00.003+08:00

Anytime you feel like you just can’t hold on
Just hold on to my love and I’ll help you be strong
But you’re so afraid to lose, and baby I can’t reach your heart
I can’t face this world that’s keeping us apart
When I can be the one to show you
Everything you missed before
Just hold on now, cause I can be the one to give you more
Let you know

Anytime you need love baby I’m on your side (hey)
Just let me be the one I can make it alright (I can make it alright)
Anytime you need love baby you're in my heart
I can make it alright

I look into your eyes, and I feel it coming through
And I can’t help but want you more than I want to
So baby take all of your fears, and cast them all on me
'Cause all I ever wanted is just to make you see
That I could be the one to give you
All that you’ve been searching for
Just hold on to my love, and baby let me give you more
You know, anytime

Anytime you need love baby I’m on your side (on the side)
Just let me be the one I can make it alright (I can make it alright)
Anytime you need love baby you're in my heart
I can make it alright

And now there’s no way out
And I can’t help the way I feel
'Cause baby you’re the fire and I’ll be waiting right here
You know my love is real, baby

KELLY CLARKSON- ANYTIME.

i'm exhausted hunneh~

2009-08-18T02:53:00.002+08:00

hey~ i'm tired. exhausted. lethargic.

working 12-10pm from sat to mon. straight.

no energy.

not complaining. no MC. only came late on sun.

try to be 'THE BEST STAFF' or 'SHOW GOOD EXAMPLES TO THE NEW STAFF'

but dont know if anyone appreciate it.

well. like i said to them....'whateverla. atleast i do my work. and.. farah tak "susahkan" orang.'

k... i'm done. gtg. i think i need to go to slp nw. working again tmr baby~ dammit!

1 more paper to go.

2009-08-13T16:40:00.002+08:00

Finally... one more paper to go... TMR!!!!!

EMPLOYMENT ASSESSMENT AND LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT- 3.45PM-6.45PM.

okay... how was my clinical and health psychology paper?

i find it damn easy... for the MCQ. then the essays... hmm... not bad....

basically, its easy la... doable... ans 3 out of 5 ques.

i just dont know how to start the essays and the kimek part is that, terlupe kejap...

but overall, the paper was easy . i hope i can get A. Insya Allah.. aamin.

and yeah.... tomorrow paper....? hmm... i havent prepare anything! i dont really like the module btw.

my NICE lecturer gave us all the ques... how about that????

its true! the MCQ ques and the essays... so yarh... STUDY SMART BEBEH~~ hehe.

klah... gtg... i guess i need to start my revision now... farah sooo pemalaz!!!!!

take care babe~

P/S:
Teman, your mum will get well soon k...
just be strong dear.
hold on.
i know she can make it.
i will always pray for her health.
if u need anything, just msg me.
dont worry.
i will try my best to be there for u k...
take care sweetie. =)
LOVE YOU!

exam baby~

2009-08-11T00:50:00.004+08:00

DAMMIT!!!! ANOTHER FEW HOURS TO GO....EXAM!!!!!!!!!!!

CLINICAL AND HEALTH PSYCHOLOGY- 3.45pm-6.45pm.

AAAAARRGGHHHHH!!!!!

i dont know if i'm well-prepared for the paper. like... this is my first paper for psychology?

wallaweii.. nervous babe. sooo ironic right? nervous but malam bute² gini update blog. haha.

klah... gtg hunneh~ gonna start my revision now. wish me luck babe. take care. =)

HEADACHE~!!!

2009-08-06T16:51:00.005+08:00

OMG!!! i'm sick....

yesterday i had a fever with the temp 39.2.... i took medicine. then after a while i'm a bit ok...

just headache, cough, flu and sore throat. dammit! this soooo irritating.. i feel soo lousy.

muke kimek seyyy saket... tengok cermin pun, cermin mcm nk retak... haha. k.. thats lame.

and the worst part... exam is ard the corner. its like... next wk? yeah~

and i have no mood to study.

with my bad headache and my nose blocked. mcm nak tarok hidung kat tepi kejap seyy... whatever it is..

i still need to study right?? i have to score this sia...

i want to show ppl that i can do this... Insya Allah~

support me k??? i really need support. klah.... gtg. take care.

YOU are my soul.

2009-08-06T04:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when we fight
I think maybe I
Should just let you leave and push you out of my life
I don’t decide
Cos I know that I, just can’t survive without you

And I know inside I’ll never let you go cos I’m sure you’re the one even through the rain its clear that you’re the one I want
And know matter how we fuss and fight girl you should always no
I just can’t stop loving you

That’s why I can’t say go
I said that’s why I can’t say go

Now baby I’ve tried, to tell you goodbye one look from your eyes
And those dumb thoughts say goodbye
It’s foolish to try but I know that I, I just can’t survive without you

And I know inside I’ll never let you go cos I’m sure you’re the one even through the rain its clear that you’re the one I want
And no matter how we fuss and fight girl you should always know
I just can’t stop loving you

That’s why I can’t say go

To see through the night, you are my light
So even when we fight I know its gon’ be alright
You have my soul I’m jus letting you know

Taio cruz- i can't say go.

MY BAD DAY & OBSESSED~

2009-08-02T01:31:00.003+08:00

first of all...

i had a bad day today. everything just ruined my mood. i feel like punching someone on their face or kick anybody's head. i NEVER like celebrating NDP with my family. NEVER. preferable with a bunch of friends and kecoh². but not my family. for sure i wont have fun. i know today wont be fun. but somehow i plan something for myself, a last limit plan to have fun? but unfortunately, something stopped me. so yarh, i made up my mind not to go with the last min plan. which is sucky. i'm quite ok at that moment. but i guess, they press the wrong button. and there i was fuming. i was sooooo pissed off that i dont even want to talk and look at them. k... the reason was, i really wanna go hm coz i have no mood when the 'last min' plan cancelled, but my family forced me to follow them to pasir ris chalet. hantar farhan coz kawan die ade chalet. my dad was like really forced me and screaming and shouting. OMG!!! soooo irritating. then i stared at him and just walk away. no matter what, i have to follow them. if i were to have a choice, i would run away sia. eeerrrgghhh!! dammit~

_____________________________________________________________________

k....
what is the definition of 'OBSESS'?
=To preoccupy the mind of excessively.
here is the question.... "ARE U OBSESSED?"
i think i am. But when it comes to LOVE, only. and i believe i dont diagnosed with OCD(OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER) which is bad la....

What is Obsessive Love?

Obsessive Love, Love Obsession, Love Addiction, or Relationship Addiction are all common terms when referring to "Obsessive Love."

The experience of insecure love has two main components. One is anxiety. This is the "he loves me, he loves me not" sensation of being kept constantly on edge by a fickle lover. Anxious lovers feel as volatile as the stock market - up one day, down the next. Their passion rages all the more intensely when they are least sure that it is reciprocated.

The second component of insecure love is obsession with the loved one. Love at first sight, longing to see the loved one every day, wanting to go off and live on a deserted island together - these are the signs of romantic obsession. To the obsessed lover, the possibility of rejection feels like the end of the world.

A person who experiences romantic insecurity tends to be both anxious and obsessed. For such a person, love is a tempestuous experience.

-DR HINDY

Obsessive love

Obsessive love is a form of love where one person is emotionally obsessed with another.

Definition

Moore, Forward and Buck believe that rejection is the trigger of obsessive love - also known as love addiction or relationship addiction. They state four conditions to help identify it, namely, a painful and all-consuming preoccupation with a real or wished-for lover, an insatiable longing either to possess or be possessed by the target of their obsession, rejection by or physical and/or emotional unavailability of their target, and being driven to behave in self-defeating ways by this rejection or unavailability.

Two characteristics indicative of obsessive love are:

Obsessive lovers believe that only the person they fixate on can make them feel happy and fulfilled.
Persons close to the love-obsessed can also be greatly affected. Witnessing a friend or family member suffer from the disorder can be distressing.

Forms/stages of obsessive love

Obsessive love is a form of love where one person is emotionally obsessed with another.
Love addiction is a process addiction where a person becomes attached to another in an unhealthy, dependent manner.
Relationship addiction is a process addiction where a person becomes addicted to his or her relationship.
Codependency is a term used to describe when a person becomes dependent upon another for emotional and physical validation.

haha.. well... i dont know why i really wanna talk about this. maybe being obsessive really tiring and bothering me too much. well atleast i learnt something. hehe. take care.

thanx for everything, BD

2009-07-26T16:18:00.002+08:00

I wasn’t looking for this
What is this?
I don’t know
You know I was doing just fine
By myself
On my own
Tell me how to
Stop this feeling

I don’t wanna fall in love
Just wanna have a little fun
Then you came and swept me up
And now I’m done, so done
Fallen madly deeply I
Surprised myself enough to find
That what’s begun
Is love
And now I’m done, so done
I’m done

I can’t imagine right now
Standing here
Without you
To think that I tried to ignore
What I felt
What I knew
I could never
Stop this feeling

Thank you for not letting go
When I said let me go
Thank you for timing
Thank your finding
Thank you for not believing me
Baby when I said

I don’t wanna fall in love
Just wanna have a little fun
Then you came and swept me up
And now I’m done, so done
Fallen madly deeply I
Surprised myself enough to find
That what’s begun
Is love
And now I’m done, so done
I’m done

PCD- i'm done.

karaoke+movie+crap and lame jokes= FUN!!!!

2009-07-20T02:33:00.014+08:00

helllooooo~~~

i really had a blast time on saturday. yep. our day off and our only outing for that

month.

eventho we have to re-plan again but its ok coz atleast we managed to do it all.

go karaoke opp hardrock cafe. sooooo kecohh..

with all the suare kimek n sengau. with

all the terpekik2 mcm org gile.

with all the videos...

nurul nyanyi semangat gile...

dgn expression yang menggileeee...

tutup mate, pegang rambut.. tgn genggam... fuhhhh....soo jiwang..hehe.

fadilah, suare mcm mamat² bwh blk.. and the funny part, member

smngt tepuk tgn then lompat². haha.

yati, she didnt sing. she read the lyrics, how abt that??

then she keep singing wrong lyrics..

and wrong tone. sooo funny. hhahaha.

and then we watched movie. obsessed. sooo cool sia.

i find it boring at the beginning

but when beyonce starts her violence, thats it.

i feel like shouting in the cinema..."baik ah beyonce!!!!!! thats it ahh... biadap btol...

tumbuk lagi!!! come on~!!! bunuh die!!!!"

tapi... tidak ke itu memalukan saye kan??? hehehe.

i really had fun. with all the crap and lame jokes.. makes me laugh like hell... cant

stop laughing sia...

hey babes, i hope we can do it again next time.

next month maybe? btw, thanx for the fun~

u girls make my day and i can forget abt my probs for that moment.

love you babes soooo much esp BD. =D

maaf.

2009-07-10T19:09:00.002+08:00

Manusia tidak pernah lari dari kesilapan.

Marah mana sekalipun manusia,

pasti suatu hari ia akan memaafkan.

Itula keistimewaannya.

Cuma, tidak pasti masanya; cepat atau lambat.

Jika kita bersabar, dan sedar akan kesilapan kita,

semuanya akan dapat pulih. mungkin.

pulih memang pulih tapi keadaan tidak akan sama seperti dahulu.

semuanya berubah.

tidak semesra dahulu.

Atau, atau,

lebih mesra kerana perasaan dendam, benci dan marah sudah tidak ada.

-FARAH-

i'm backkkkkk honey~~!!!!!!

2009-07-07T16:51:00.010+08:00

Helo peeps~~!!!!

yeahhh!!! farah is back!!! woohoooo....!!!!

something wrong with my blog and it took me a bloody long time to edit everything. i was

thinking to change my url blog but i dont know what to change. fickle-minded as usual. haha.

soooo... miss me?? i bet u are. haha. actually, i have a lot of things to share.....

i really had a blast time last month. errrk.... my bday lorr.. hehe. did u wish me?? bagi sesiape yg wish saye, dan saye tidak reply... mintak maaf byk2 la yerr.. saye kat msia. dan yang paling siak, hp saye merepek. hehe. btw, terime kaseh.. ;)

before i went to KL, i had my bday and dira's bday celebration together with teman, nurul and the 2 yatiS. once again, thanx alott for the presents.... i loikeeeeee!!!

then, on the 19th, da berangkat naik van..... penat yerrr 6jam dlm van... cramp seyy pantat...!!!! nak tido pun sempit... maklumla kaki model... haha.

i hate the hotel service there~!

my God!!!! merepekla kimek~~!!! k.. mlaz nak bebual psl tuh.... kla.. njoy the pic~

~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@

I got urine infection.

2009-06-07T20:21:00.004+08:00

hello again...
btw, im not working today. i'm off.
i went to clinic just now. my parents force me to go because i keep going to toilet.
ntah ehk... macam nak terkencing tak tahan, tapi bile kencing, keluar sikit jer.... (tak senonoh eh cerite....hehee)
then², dengan kecoh² kene membebel ngan mak dan juga bapak, aku pun ikotla gi doc. just to shut their mouth.
before jumpe doc, i have to pee in this small container to give them example la kan....(of coz dlm toilet k....)
in the room, my mum semangat yer ceritekan kat doc.... member kat sini diam jela... muke selenge tengok doc. hehe.
doc told me that i got URINE INFECTION. wallaweii.... terkejot berok kejap dengar.
he said maybe because aku suke tahan kencing. nie semue MIMI(kucing aku) punye pasal.
u know why? aku kan takot kucing. sooooo... malam² bile tak tahan nak kencing, saye sanggup tahan sampai besok pagi yerrrr.... hehe.
doc gave me 1 day mc. but what the heck, farah still go to work k... 12-10. i need money sia to pay my school fees. amek kau! haizzz....

i cant wait to go holiday because i wanna go shopping. the reason why i work 46-48 hrs per wk for the past few wks is because nak bawak duit banyak² then shopping. on my birthday.
so most probably, present for me. heeeeee. member kat sini da nak 20yr old yerrrr.... fuhhhh..... tue seyy... no more teen² kat belakang.

klah.... my bro sooooo F irritating nak main comp. macam nak campak die dari tingkat 10 jer.... eeerrrrrggghhhh!!!!

the definition of stress. heeee.

2009-06-02T16:03:00.002+08:00

well..well..well...
i just finished doing my research(macam paham ehk....haha.) about stress.
my lecturer asked all of us to find the definition of stress. if possible where can it lead to and so on....
so... member kat sini semangatla carik yerr... sampai the signs and the symptoms semue.
(errkkk... maybe tengah semangat nak belajar yer.... mudah-mudahan berpanjanganla semangatku nie yerr....heeeeee)

so... actually we cant anyhow use the word 'stress'. because actually the word 'stress' is harmful and not like how we think. tak dapat hantar homework, stress. lambat gi keje, stress. mak tak masak, stress. mrt ke bus lambat, stress. teacher marah or kawan tak bebual ngn kite, stress. kucing ke hamster hilang, stress. tak dapat download lagu, stress. computer hang, stress. so yarh.... bacically, the word 'stress' is a big word.

"stress is a normal part of life that help us learn and grow. conversely, stress can cause us significant problems. if we dont take action, the stress response can lead to HEALTH PROBLEMS."
"stress can be best managed by regular exercise, meditation or other relaxation techniques, structured time outs, and learning new coping strategies to create predictability in our lives."

i guess thats all for now. just wanna share what i learned today which to me, i find it very interesting. heeee. kla... chow. take care.

My first day of school.

2009-05-27T20:17:00.004+08:00

heyy...

wanna know how's my first day of school? (sound sooo primary girl. hehe)
honestly, i was sooo nervous like hell. i cant stop thinking how's the lecturer n the student.
but thank God everything went well. i have a new friend. her name is Dalilah. she's 23.

first module: clinical and health psychology.
honestly, i find it fun. it was soo interesting that i really wanna revise it again. hehe.
im not really like the second module. which explain i dont even remember the name. sucks right?haha
btw, some of my classmates are mums with 3 kids. and some of them are nurses.
i find it very interesting class. but as usual ppl will think that aku nie pendiam or sombong.
but this is me sia. i dont really talk to strangers. hehe. but no worries. sooner or later ppl will know the real me....(maybe la ehk.... coz we only see each other 2 times a wk. tues n thurs,)

thats it for nw. will update again. sayonara~

Someone start a new sch. heeee.

2009-05-26T15:18:00.003+08:00

Guess what? im gonna start schooling today. yup. today, at 7pm.
OMG!!! i'm soo nervous... erm... plus excited? not sure bout that. but what i know, more to dammit nervous. then ade pimple kat hidung lagi.....(k.. tk pentingla kannn? heeee)
but seriously, like, how's the student? how's the teachers? n most importantly, how's the studies?
bole cope ker? yela.... i've been schooling at madrasah environment for the past 13yrs. girl schools lagi. so yarh... this time gonna be different.
i'll be schooling every tues n thurs. at 7-10pm. insya Allah for 14months if i didnt fail my exam coz i have to repeat the modules sampai pass. seram kan? insya Allah can make it k? aaamin.
and one more stressful problem, what to wear sia? like as usual. girlssss.. hahahahaa...
eventho for 3hrs, takkan nak kai selekeh kan? duhhhh~

but i still hafta work. but not on tues n thurs. bapak tak kasi yerrr.
kalau tak keje, sape nak kasi duit makan, duit transport, duit prepaid? maka, dengan itu, saye tetap bekerje yerrrr..... i'm sure i'm gonna be tired.

kla... nak kene siap² sekarang. sooooo nervous.
Ya Allah.... tenangkanlah aku...

Gemini.

2009-05-16T14:37:00.003+08:00

Gemini
The Twins

Gemini- today.

It's challenging for you to do any critical analysis today for you are looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. Your optimism may not be entirely blind, for there could be real opportunities to travel or to go back to school. Nevertheless, don't just say yes without considering the downside of stepping outside your comfort zone. The potential for growth is certainly there, but it comes with a price.

Tomorrow.

Current changes at work may be worrisome at first, but there appears to be a silver lining in the dark storm clouds. It's hard to stay overly concerned with the instability, for you realize that something is stuck and really needs to be shaken up. You may not be able to see around the next corner, preventing you from being certain about decisions you want to make. It may be wiser now to delay setting new goals and to just live with the uncertainty for a while longer.

The Geminian Personality.

Positive	Negative
* Inquisitive	* Restless
* Entertaining and charming	* Quickly bored
* Versatile	* Impractical
* Liberal, broad minded	* Impatient and irritable
* Youthful	* Capricious and fickle
* Quick	* Gossipy
* Stimulating	* Nervous
* Inventive	* Manipulative
* Never prejudiced	* Noncommittal
	* Dual personality

Appearance

The typical Gemini woman:

* is tall and slender, unless their is a strong Taurus influence causing plumpness

* has very beautiful eyes

* has long arms and legs

* has exquisitely expressive hands

* moves quickly

Behavior and Personality Traits

* is a lively conversationalist

* has many interests

* is a composite of many personalities

* is a great friend, taking an interest in any new subject

* will want to have a career

* seeks true romance but finds it hard to settle down

* is a deep thinker and often very intuitive

* will never turn down a cry for help

* is optimistic

* notices every detail

* can be charming and very persuasive

Behavior When In Love

The typical Gemini:

* is overwhelmed by confusing emotions

* may appear cool and distant

* will think things through rather than act spontaneously

* needs a rational understanding of love

* tends to repress very strong emotions

* is acutely sensitive and open to hurt

* can become emotionally dependent

* feels very deeply but finds it very hard to express love

Expectations

The typical Gemini expects:

* to be understood

* the partner to be emotionally telepathic

* sympathy and tenderness

* personal freedom for self and partner

* to enjoy flirting

* faithfulness of partner

Geminian Likes and Dislikes.

Likes

* being free to move around

* the excitement of travel

* talking

* telephones, gadgets, instant food

* acting as devil's advocate

* doing several things at once

* knowledge, information

* acting quickly on decisions

* variety, novelty, change

* company, being among people

* pseudonyms

* getting to the bottom of things

Dislikes

* listening to endless complaints

* regimentation

* not knowing what's going on

* wasting time

* being kept waiting

* making irrevocable commitments

* being defeated

* fixed ideas

* having to concentrate on only one thing for a long time

i guess that's all for now. learn something about gemini(me). hehe.
take care. have a good day.

private my blog.

2009-05-11T01:13:00.002+08:00

i decided to private my blog coz i realize that some things are better left secret.
and i only give the permission to those that i trust.
some ppl spread the news abt me. n i really hate it.

da lame tak update blog. really bz with my work.
banyak kerje full-shift. penat yerrr... same goes to didi.
dengar² kite due hour paling kecoh. but its ok... we hv our own reason why we work like hell. right teman? hehe.

btw, next month im gonna go holiday and at the same time spend my bday at KL. yup. my bday bitch. hehe.
dont forget to buy me present k... i wanna make sure that when i get back frm KL,
hadiah kat depan mate aku.. amacam?? berangan ehk... hehe.

klah... i wanna go to sleep nw. actually i hv no mood.
my headache da datang. maybe im thinking too much.
so many things on my mind nw. hmmm... night. muackx.

FUTSAL.

2009-04-28T17:22:00.005+08:00

I love futsal. the first time i discovered myself that i can play futsal when i was pre-u 1.
It was quite kental actually. haha.
i dont really have the confidence to play futsal. but then, didi taught me and the rest how to pass and kick the ball and stuff. so sikit² bole main jugakla...
then, ade tournament lagi. from sec3-pre u 2.
thank God my team mates were quite good jugakla...
i remember when my team Vs didi's team.
didi tengah bawak bola tau then me teros tendang bola die...
then the situation mcm tense kejap uh... hehe.
our tch sampai.."farhana... fadilah.. da jangan gadoh!"
kite due dah ketawe²....
then, the interesting part is, we won! hehe. 1st yerr...didi's team, 2nd.
didi was like...."aku yang ajar kau, kau yang kalahkan aku.."
but it was fun la.... macam tengah tendang bola then kasot tercampak la....
the worst part, aku tertendang bola kat muke goal keeper. gerek kepe? haha.
didi pulak... bola yang die tendang terbounce from wall to kepale budak. haha.

k... there's a reason why i share all this.. wanna know?? errkk... ade game this coming june.
but honestly, i don't really have the confidence seyyy..
majority of them are pro. they were like playing and practising futsal since they were sec sch.
berape tahun tuh.... then they have coach summore...
unlike me??? like errkkk.. sape ajar? nak pass bola pun tak pandai. tendang je suke kuat² and tinggi². hehe.
but frankly, i wanna try. really.
mane tau luck kite bole menang ker.. hehe.

then recently, secret recipe crews (service je....kitchen tk yerr) semue main bola after work.
at first kite main depan SR. then biase jugak....
mulut kite tak reti nak senyap... kene complaint. haha.
then yesterday, we decided to play at the void deck near our workplace.
gerek gile... kecoh nak mampoz. it was fun.
yang mane terpekik, yang mane tertonggek, yang mane kaki besi, yang mane confuse team mates sendiri, yang mane memang da pro, yang mane tengah kejar bola pun sempat makan ayam kfc.... serious. it was hilarious.
sooooo.... zali was planning that maybe we should do it 3-4 times a wk.
kalau tak main bola, kite gi jogging ramai². gerek kape? haha.
smangat giler yerrr zali... hehe.

but to me, its really a great idea. we can also practise for the game.
btw, farah berangan nak jagi goal keeper k... hehe.
tak tahula if i can.
till here then. take care.

psssssttt.... I LOVE YOU.

2009-04-22T03:01:00.004+08:00

Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I dreamt about you
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worth it
With you it feels like I am finally home

Fallen head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life
Cuz you leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You've managed to disarm me
My soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender
My everything to you

I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
But somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no

Fallen head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life

You leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You've managed to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
Oh no
My everything to you

You leave me speechless
(the way you smile, the way you touch my face)
You leave me breathless
(it's something that you do I can't explain)
I run a million miles just to hear you say my name

You leave me speechless
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You've managed to disarm me
My soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender
My everything to you

-the veronicas; speechless-

"Honestly, i never imagine this love would be so beautiful.
that sometimes,
i get mad,
over petty things like seeing you talking with another gal.
or,
when u look at other gal.
and sometimes,
i pull a long face,
just to make u console me or make me smile and laugh.
and sometimes,
i cried,
afraid that it might end.

i love you. more than yesterday.
i'm not special. but i know i can be the best.
i'm sorry for all the arguments and irritating moments.
but i hope it will make us stronger each day.
you are one in a million.
I LOVE YOUUU."

Maafkan aku :(

2009-04-21T14:59:00.004+08:00

Sampai bila harus aku bertahan?
sampai bila harus aku berdiri teguh?
sampai bila harus aku mendongak, membutakan mata, membisukan mulut dan pekakkan telinga?

Sekiranya aku diberi kuasa 'membaca minda manusia',
sudah pastinya aku tidak akan terus bertanya dan tertanya-tanya.
keadaan sekelilingku membuatkan diri ini rimas,
membuatkan diri ini dicengkam kesedihan,
membuat diri ini ingin sahaja berputus asa.

Aku lelah dengan sandiwara hidup yang tak pernah kenal erti putus asa.
yang sering membuat manusia berpecah belah dan berselisihan faham.
Namun,
dengan secebis kesabaran dan kekuatan yang ada,
aku akan cuba buktikan siapa yang benar dan salah.
Atau mungkin, berdiam diri dan mengharap semuanya akan berakhir dengan pertolongan-Nya.

Ikhlas dan jujur dari hatiku....
Maafkan aku sekiranya aku ada menyakitkan hatimu...
Maafkan aku sekiranya aku pernah mengkhianati persabahatan kita.
Maafkan aku sekiranya aku tak bisa menjadi KAWAN YANG TERBAIK BUATKAN MU..
Aku sedar aku mempunyai banyak kelemahan...
Hakikatnya,
kau lah satu-satunya 'TEMAN' aku.
mungkin, ini semua adalah dugaan untuk menguji berapa kuatnya persahabatan kita.
Aku harap kita dapat mempertahankannya........bersama.

Sekali lagi,
TEMAN, MAAFKAN AKU..
AKU SAYANG KAU.

I HATE YOU, BLUE PIG.

2009-04-20T00:32:00.004+08:00

guess what? i saw INDRA DHARMAWAN at queensway.
remember him? the one who just disappear from my life without saying goodbye or anything.
i can't believe i could see him after 4 month he disappeared from me.
im really hate him.
die tegur aku dulu.. die tanye, "da balik keje ker?"
"takla.... tengah break sekarang.."
"ouhh... break sampai kul berape..?"
"dalam 3lebih gitula..."
"ouh ok.. nomber maseh same kan?"
"ah. btw, lame menyepi kan diri?"
he just smiled and jalan. the way he talked to me as if he did nothing wrong. as if like im his old friend. geddit?
u know, bile terserempak dengan BABI BIRU tuh ehk, its not like im starting to fall for him again.
its really hurt.. like adding salt or lemon to the scars.
its like tearing my heart into pieces all over again.

then,ard 5+ tadi, he approached me at msn.
"boo!"
"yes?"
"tak keje nari?"
"tak..."
then blablablablabla.....
i asked him..
"lame menghilang kan diri?"
"tak tau mane tercampakla.. hehe"
u take it as a joke?? eh cb uh...
then, i said, "lain kali kalau nak tinggalkan orang, bilang jer. sakit die sikit jerr.. tapi kalau teroz menghilang kan diri, sakit die bile²..."
he said..."i'm sorry i did this to u but cerite panjang."
"what is it? tell me..."
he rep..."its a damn long story..."
then he try to joke around with me... like WTF!
orang tenga marah,tenga sakit hati, u telling me a joke??
this aint funny k...

u better F off and never come again.
i dont wanna see your face.
seriously, biar bodoh pelajaran.. atleast boleh blaja pelan²... kalau ade kemahuan.
tapi eh, kalau bodoh nak jage hati orang... orang akan benci sepanjang hidup! orang takkan maafkan pun...
and kalau bodoh due² eh, thats it ah... takyah hidup suda la...

what the hell is happening to my life now?

2009-04-18T01:10:00.003+08:00

I'm soo stress!!
i just don't know what's going on right now?
what did i do wrong?
with all the cold attitude towards me..
do you think i can just ignore and pretend that everything is alright?
yarh.. maybe i can.
but maybe just for a while. coz it's hard for me to do so.
i'm not strong. i try to be strong.. again... this time.
all i can do is just cry. what else i can do?
honestly.
i always pray to Allah to give me strength to carry on with this life.
Dear God, please.... help me...
i really2 need your help. ='(

2009-04-17T13:54:00.006+08:00

The four of us went out yesterday... we planned ALOOOOOOT IF we get our pay on that day.
Supposedly, we wanna watch movie then bowling, then go fareast...
do some shopping and dinner at ramen 10.
but guess what? gaji tak masokla seyyy....
so we met ard 5 @ central clarke quay.
loitering ard the mall. then went lepak outside the mall. opposite bungy jumping.
it was sooo peaceful plus beautiful sky.
u know, the 2 of us kept going to atm machine to check our pay..(except me.)
maneeeeeeelah tau da masok... boleh enjoy n shopping kerrr.....
but toooooo bad... blom yerrr... hehe.

we talked alot. yep. alot! non-stop.
its been a long time since we have time for this. share our problems and stories.
coz, neither of us can get off on the same day.
after that, nurul met us. so we had our dinner at MCD. (i dont know what's the name of that mall)
then i decided to check my bank pulak... coz mine is OCBC.
punyela happy, da masok la seyy... abt 9+pm baru masok...
kat dpn machine tuh macam nak jerit yerr.. tapi control. haha.
then i told them abt the news. dorng pun semangatla check lagi.. tkde.
so i planned to watch movie use my money first. but all the movie like sux.
sooo... nurul came out with this plan.
play board game at pit-stop. between clarke quay and boat quay.
tempat tuh tutup at 11. then, we rushed to that place.
jalan laju giler yerrr.... lalu clubs and pubs semue...
then we reached that place at 10.20pm. 3bux per pax. quite cheap.
guess what? we only have 40mins to play the games. but heck care la..
after all the walks, we decided to just chill and play the games.
we had a blast time. non-stop laughing sia.... hahahaa....
we really should go there again next time.

after that, we went to MCD(again... boooooringgg...)
bought fries, chix munchees, drink.
and we just sit and talked....
after that, we went home......

babes, thanx for the fun. i really enjoy it.
i hope we can do this again next time.
takyah bilang zali k... hehe.
lastly, thanx soo much babes for listening to my probs and be there for me when i need u.
love u gals soo much.

-i wanna be the only special girl in your heart.
stop comparing me with others.
i am not her. we are totally different.
i'm sorry for all the arguments n fights.
but whatever it is, i still love u ahh boy.

-exotic princess-

I love you, mama!

2009-04-11T00:29:00.003+08:00

**With my beloved family.**

**my mommy**

**Me and my mommy**

** i wrote that kkkkk!!!!**

Guess what? i wrote that message k....

gua tulis la seyyy... sweet kan?? hehe.

Btw, we didnt go to some expensive restaurant to celebrate my mum's bday.

we just had our dinner at hajah maimunah.... which to me is much better coz cheaper and sungguh mengenyangkan and sungguh melayu eventho i'm mixed arab n indian... ehem2... =D

after that, we just jalan2 to bugis( as usual. so sick of bugis...!!!! tapi pape pun carik barang kt sane)

but seriously, i had fun spending my time with my family.

and i suprised my mum by bought her 1/2 recipe choc indulgence cake.

i told her i was going to meet my friend when i actually went to collect my cake at my workplace.

i asked her to go to my granny's house because i wanna meet my granny.

but the intention is to celebrate her bday at my granny's house. =)

i'm really pleased to see the sparkling in her eyes. i know she's happy, its just that she dont know how to express it. (jahat pulak... hehe)

whatever it is..... i love you soo much mama.

happy birthday mama!

2009-04-10T02:54:00.005+08:00

heloooo everybody!!

atlast... i edit my whole blog.

errkkkk... do u think its ok?

for your info, this is my first time edit blogskin on my own.

cozz' all this while uh, i asked yati's help.

confirm die pun boring ngan aku... hehe.

so yarh... this is my new skin.

btw, i love vintage soo much.

like soooo cool sia. hehe.

btw last monday, i went to some customer service course with lina and salihin.

the course was held at airport terminal 2. jauh yerrr...

after that i lepak at my workplace. biase jugak...... hehe.

the trainer was sooo funny. very cheeky, very funny, and lame.

but overall the course was fun.

btw, today is my mum's bday. 10th april.

later we will go out and makan2.

i really dont know what to buy for her

but i already bought 1/2 recipe chocolate indulgence.

i hope she likes it. tak sabar nak makan... yummy2!!!

HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY MAMA!!!
SEMOGE PANJANG UMOR,

DIMURAHKAN REZEKI.

SIHAT SELALU,

DIKUATKAN IMAN.

DIBERI KEKUATAN,

DAN BAHAGIE DISAMPING KELUARGE.

AAAMINN.

I LOVE U, MAMA!

2009-04-06T02:38:00.003+08:00

okkkkeeehhhh.. guess what...
actually, i decided to edit my blog..
but none of the blog skin really captured my heart.
all so lame nak mampos.
and right now, i'm soooo tired & sleepy & irritated.
like WTH... skin ape nie...???
k.... macam nak ngamok pun ade.....
i'm sooooo bored with my current skin... da berape lame tak tukar.
haiyaaa....
sooo instead of carik skin.. again....
i thought maybe i should update my blog jerrr...

btw, just now i went to JP with my family.
survey² hp yerrr...
i was thinking to sign up a new line. a student line.
but but but... i just afraid i might use it without limitation.hehe.
bak kate orang.. da shiok berbual, tak ingat dunie... heeeeeee =D
haiya.... cant stop talking about hp...
*farah, stop it la.... kumpul duit dulu.... pelan² yerr... ker tunggu bday ke... mane tau orang nak belikan ker..* (wink²)
perasan pulak aku.... hehehe....

anyway, by the way.....
ary msg me....
"hi... nga uat pe? bz ker?"
i ignored.
then he called me...
i ignored.

the next day... (member tak putus ase la...)
he called me again... 2x.
i didnt ans his call.
then he msg me...
"u bz ker? sorry kalau i ganggu. tc."

Hey, stop contacting me la Ary....
i forgive u from the start when u hurt me and make me cry...
I'm moving on.
so please, I DONT WANNA INVOLVE ANY R'SHIP WITH U EVEN AS A FRIEND.
there's no vacancy for u in my heart.
forget about me... forget about us.
I've dropped everything about us. nothing left in my heart.
so before i really hate u or regard u as my foe, u better **** off.
u need me to say it again?? I'M MOVING ON.
yup. so, **** off.

**I'll always be your exotic princess.
and u'll always be in my heart**
-precious-

2009-04-01T16:13:00.009+08:00

ok. first of all. i hate my hp.
i mean like soooooooooo much.
eeerrggghhh.....!!!!! my phone is so dammit irritating.
nanti tengah dengar lagu best², teroff sendiri...
or, tengah message², then teroff...
or, tengah bebual kat phone, tengah conference ker ehk, then teroff.
or, tengah tengok² gambar kat hp ehk, then teroff.
so, if u were me, how do u feel?????
geram kan??????? eeeerrrrggghhhh~~!!!!!!!!
so if let say if u msg me then it takes forever for me to reply, paham²la yerrr..... heeeee.=D

i really wanna change my phone...
right now, i like this one phone.
but it was dammit expensive... SGH-F480.
kan best kalau ade orang belikan.... but sape seyyy... haha..
so, i guess if ppl don't know what to buy for me on my bday...
takyah pikir banyak k.... u know what to buy...
sooo.... 2 more months to kumpul duit.. hahahaa....

The most important things about the SGH-F480, 
other than the function is the camera...

CAMERA RESOLUTION- 5 megapixel with auto-focus.
DIGITAL/OPTICAL ZOOM- digital zoom 2x.
LED FLASH- power LED
AUTO-FOCUS- YES
SHOT MODE- smile shot, face detection, panorama shot.

**ouhhh dammit~you're sooo gorgeous baby~!!!!! (airliur meleleh)**

2009-03-29T22:13:00.005+08:00

hello peeps~

i know it's been a long bloody time since i update my blog.
i was like sooooo busy with my work. i don't even have time for myself.
erm... like taking pictures or dancing in my room... hehe.
i worked full-shift like almost everyday.12-10pm. then off 1 or 2days only.
haiyaaa.... damn tired leii...
aku nie bukan kuat sangat... nanti sikit² saket....
startla pening... sakit perut.....
makan tak makan still the same....
i have this thought to go to clinic and check if there's something wrong with me but i just dont have time for that. honestly.
so yarh.... just bear the pain.

u know, i keep thinking why ppl keep hurting their loved ones?
why they hurt their other half?
or when u get bored with ur partner, u just disappear like that?
do u ever think about their feeling? i mean like, for a moment try to put urself in their shoes...
orrr..... karma??
haiz... i dont know why im thinking all this...
maybe because i cannot bear to see my friends suffer.....
let bygones be bygones.....
i know its hard....
but sometimes u really have to move ur butt off ur comfort zone.

i think i'm stronger than before.
eventho sometimes the past still haunting me....
but wtf. i need to move on.
i dont wanna let anything or anyone bring me down.
i had enough. dats it.
i always hold to this phrase..."BE THE BIGGER PERSON."
That special person is the one who say this and also bring happiness into my life.
now i can smile and laugh without even faking it.
thanx for being there for me...
thanx for everything....
i appreciate ur presence....

"Being strong doesnt always mean
you can handle whats thrown at you.
it just means you are prepared to ignore
whatever it is that hurts you."

2009-03-13T13:39:00.003+08:00

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!
this is soooo irritating...
I'm siccckkkkkkk..... =(
Flu, headache, sore throat and cough....
i've got nooo mood at all.
for your info, i'm working today. 6-10pm
i feel soo weak... really weak.
btw, suare farah serak... or should i say dah takde suare terus.
nak berbual pun susah....
then, how to serve customer?
sooo i guess, i do bar tonight.
haish... again.
ari tuh da kene marah ngan zali...
rabak k..... he shouted at me... with all the angry words.
i cried. i dont want to... but my tears still rolling down my cheeks.
at that moment, i feel like quitting my job.
but when i think again, i need money.
sooooo, tahan jelah.... what to do...

i've been thinking a lot lately...
about everything that revolved around me.
family, studies, work and myself.
honestly, I'm tired. I'm lethargic.
i feel like giving up. That's it.
that's the end of my journey...
but.... with my little strength that i get from the people that i love...
I'm still holding on to this broken string.
i don't know if i can make it through this....... ='(

2009-03-09T15:27:00.002+08:00

alright. atlast. i got my 'A'level result.
ok... first of all...
to my surprise and everybody surprise...
i passed my GP. yup!! i know.... i mean like... i always fail my GP.
NEVER EVER pass my GP in class.
Erm... my teacher even looked down on me...
but yarh.... i got C6 for my GP.

now.. i dont really satisfied with my result except my GP.
but who cares..
i mean, the qualification for any local U is not GP alone right?
kalau ade, bilang laa yerrr...
sekarang jugak apply. heeeee.

soo.... i only passed 1 subject for my ADVANED LEVEL.
which is my ISLAMIC LAW.. tak bagos at all... errmm.. E.
then my ISLAMIC THEOLOGY... errrkkkkk.... F.
merepek kan?????
and seriously, im quite frustrated and pissed off with my MALAY H2.
i got S. sub-pass.
like heloooo???
atleast give me D or C. but S??
what? sexy? heeee... k lame.

k then... my ORDINARY LEVEL..
i got C5 for my arabic.
and C6 for my GP.
alhamdulillah.....

so now.....
i dont know where to continue my studies....
i was thinking to retake but i really afraid i couldnt make it this time.
that day, i went to convention exhibition for education and also career.
there was aloooooooot of school...
for diploma... degree..
then i was quite interested at this 1 school.
i was still considering to take diploma in psychology....
6 month course. hmmm...
i dont know... i really dont know.
my manager said.... maybe i should take a break... work for 1-2yrs then continue my studies.
but but but...
i dont think its a great idea...
nanti da malaz how...?

alright.. so now...
i'm soo stress... still thinking and deciding.....
about school and money.

i think i should go now...
i' working at 6 today...
so i have to get ready for work.
peeps, doakan for me.....
hopefully i can still continue my studies......

2009-03-03T23:03:00.002+08:00

Babes, please don't hide your sadness.
it tore my heart apart to see the sadness in your eyes.
how i wish i could take away all the pain, sorrows and tears.....
its true. u said i found my happiness.
but i want the happiness to be yours too...
all the broken smile.....
i can see it... clearly.

Babes, i'm always here for u...
i aint go anywhere...
no matter how busy i am,
i will try my best to spare my tiny little time with u...
i love u...
i really do.
please take care of yourself coz i care.

2009-03-01T23:32:00.002+08:00

When I first talked to you
I felt like I had known you forever,
telling you my problems
and what I didn't want ever.

You listened to me
I bet you thought I'd never end,
who would have thought
we would be the best of friends.

Over a period of time,
I got to know the real you.

You've survived your life
with me by your side.
I told you I'd never leave
because of the feelings I have inside.

There was a time
I wanted to explore,
what would have happened
if I would only open the door.

I know you
like no one I have ever known,
and sometimes I wonder
what do I do when we're alone?

So I have decided
time answers all.
If it is meant to be
time will remove the wall.

Standing between us,
holding us back,
allowing us to feel
It's the relationship that we lack.

I love the way we are together,
you can always make me smile.
Will it ever really be forever?
I guess I will have to wait awhile.

Time will reveal, what lies ahead
but always remember
what I have said.
Meeting you has changed my life
and I really love you so,
the feelings I feel for you
I am never letting go.
Remember me always
and I will too.

I will always think of
me and you.

-Your Precious.

2009-02-28T02:04:00.002+08:00

hello peeps~
seriously im like damnnn bz with my work.
i even got no time for myself...
waaaaaaarrrrgghhhhhhh~~~!!!!!
soooo tired leiii.....
the worst part of all......
EYEBAGS!!!!!
bole isi payung, buku, botol, wallet, perfume, hp, kasut pun muat seyy dalam bag tuh.... (k... lame. haha.)
but k... seriously, annoying tau.....
soooo distracted......
haiyaaaaa.....
i really wanna go shopping everytime i got my pay~!!!!!
but... hmmm.... responsibility comes first.
banyak bende harus didahulukan yerrrrr.....

~~~***~~~***~~~~***~~~~****~~~~***~~~~***~~~~****

Ku bersyukur ke hadrat ilahi krn semuanya telah pulih sedikit demi sedikit....
Ku amat berterima kasih krn aku dapat senyum dan ketawa lagi....
Terima kasih Ya Rabb....
Kau memberiku kesempatan untuk menikmati kebahagiaan ini lagi...
Ya Rabb...
Berilah kebahagiaan kpd org yang ku sayang...
Aku ingin melihat mereka gembira dan bahagia.......
Tiada kesulitan yang menghambat perjalanan hidup mereka sehingga membuatkan mereka rebah ke bumi...
Berikanlah mereka kekuatan untuk menjalani semua dugaanmu Ya Rabb.....
Dan juga, cekalkanlah hatiku dan berilah diri ini sepenuh kekuatan krn kekuatan ini bukan hanya untuk diriku tapi untuk orang disekelilingku...
Terutama orang yang ku sayang......

2009-02-16T16:19:00.002+08:00

Happy 'belated' valentine's day to all~~!!!!!

spread the love bebeh~~!!

sooo.... wanna know how's my valentine?

seriously, it was sooooo busy at work.

I dont even have time to breathe... (terok kan? hehe)

non-stop customers k....

at first jealous jugakla kan couple sane sini...

maklomla single kan.....

but but but....

i dun mind coz dis valentine's day i celebrate with my darlingssss....

heeee....

i even dapat flowers and love from my darlingss tau...

thanx sooo much...

i'm sorry i have nothing to give...

blom gaji yer.....

but from the bottom of my heart, i really love u all....

hugs n kisses..

2009-02-12T21:57:00.003+08:00

i'm not working today... off yerrr.

guess what? i'm sick..... =(

a lil bit of flu, cough, really bad headache... hmmm...

ntahla jangkit sape yer....

i've been working a lot.... mostly until closing.

and yarh... i even dont have time for my friends and family.

sampai uma je, semue orang da tido.....

i'm sorry guys.... i really miss u all... i really do.

tmr i'm working at 6-10pm. bole bangon lambat yerrr.....

bt on valentines day... 11am-10pm yer....

most probably, full house. ade couple set meal lagi....

aku takot aku lupe yer....

"si farhana nie selalu lupe.... bile orang cakap tak pena nak ingat.... harap je keje 1 tahun lebih tapi tak gune!!!" thats what manager told me...

n yarh... one more habit... late for work. heeeeee...

lalalalalalalaaalalalalalalaalaaa (imagine my tone)

sooooooo u know what, my manager kesayangan put me morning shift..

one whole wk ehk......

amek kau~!!!

waarrgghhhhh~~~!!!!! i have to wake up early sia...

" aku nak tengok farhana datang cepat next week. kalau satu hari lambat je, aku tak kasi die schedule for 1 week!!"

rabak perrrr???

haiyaaaa......

till here then. take care.

2009-02-09T00:44:00.005+08:00

Hey teman!!!

Happy 19th birthday to u dear....

i love u wholeheartedly...

may all ur wishes n dreams will come true k...

and may ur life be filled with happiness and laughter...

hey peeps...~~!!!!

i really had a blast time spent my day celebrating my BFF's birthday....

i hope she enjoyed it...

for your info, dis is my first time wearing dress k.... exceptional hari raye... duhhh~!!

seriously, i really dont know what to buy for her...

so i decided to make a brownie. heeee.

btw, i dont like to cook or bake k....

but for the sake of my BFF, yep. i would like to try lor..

i dont know if it taste good but didi n the rest said my brownie is nice....

sooooo... kalau nak kirim satu, order la 4days in advance ehk... jgn lupe kasi duit deposit. =P

nak cerite nie what happen on dat day....

kecoh beb~ but overall, jadi jgk walaupun fad buih....(fad suppose to set the place for the party)

3.00pm,

i met lina at queenstown taxi stand.

btw, dalam train aku paisey giler k.....

kecoh giler dgn dress aku... dgn bwk paper beg besar dalam ade kek..

dgn beg tangan aku... haiyaaa....

3.30pm,

sampai anchorpoint teros tulis message atas kek tuh....

"Happy birthday fadz... ana uhibbuki"

after that tunggu yati dtg plak.....

4.00pm,

yati da sampai kite gi print gambar kat kedai cuci gambar(duhhh!!! takkan cuci gmbar kat kedai pajak kan??)

after that, we bought flower for the decoration.

then dapat msg from didi bapak die nak anta die gi anchorpoint....

ape lagi.... member panic uh seyy....

kelam kabot lari gi beli big card for her....

4.30pm,

yati, lina n me dalam bus otw gi vivo...

aku pulak terpkse la tipu didi yang kononnyer aku lmbat..

so tak obvious aku jumpe dorng dulu...

konon² lina n yati da ngamok aku lambat... geddit²????

padahal aku kan cepat... eventho all this while aku slalu lmbat...

erkk... 'endlessly lateness'

5.00pm,

da jumpe didi....

makan kat pastamania (aku aru tau da halal la seyy...)

then after that pusing² vivo....

then kite meet doris, lisa, aunty shandy & salihin at the entrance....

ape lagi... amek gamba laaaaaaa....

6+pm,

doris ajak kite maen arcade...

k... penat pulak cerite panjang²...

so blablablabla.....

yati ajak gi keppel bay brigde... lepak² situ kejap...

then kite blindfolded didi naik cab gi anchorpoint.

we took 2 cabs.

1st cab, me, lina, aunty & doris...

2nd cab, didi, yati, salihin & lisa.

1st cab sampai anchorpoint teros gi set the place....

susun meja... last min beli balloons kat cold storage semue...

2nd cab sampai anchorpoint ajak didi pusing² anchorpoint....

jz to be sure die tak suspect kite kat anchorpoint.. but duhhh~~!! die keje situ da 1 yr k....

bau anchorpoint pn die tau la.... (dats what she told me la.... hehe)

den blablablablabla.... kite bukak blindfolded die.....

terkejot berok la member... ramai org kat situ.....

den², potong brownie aku....

btw, she was touched by the brownie that aku uat.... heeee. (no prob dear... anything for u.)

den... bukak hadiah lorrr....

k.... aku penat cerite panjang²....

so yarh... dats it....

i really hope dis 19th birthday will be unforgettable birthday for u, dear...

2009-02-06T23:40:00.003+08:00

I'm not strong...
everything seems blurry to me...
i can't find the way out.
where should i turn to?
i just don't know what's wrong with me.....
is it me?
i always think negative.. is it true??
i just don't have the confidence in everything i do.....
hmm....
Ya Allah....
please help me....
please take away my tears....

Tomorrow is my BFF's bday....
i want to see her happy.
i'm willing to do anything for her...
teman, i'm sorry if i ever hurt u....
i did'nt realize it...
i'm sorry...
i really love u dear.....
happy 19th bday....

2009-02-01T01:11:00.007+08:00

Just got back from marina sq with my family...

celebrate farhan's 17th bday...

da lame tak spend time ngan dorang... asek bz keje je...

kalau btol², malaz nak kua.. with my bad headache....

i didnt go to work just now... 10-6. coz i really cant woke up..haish...

i'm sorry zali for troubling u.... =(

soo much things on my mind....

problems keep coming without giving me the chance to sit & think what's the solution.

i nearly gave up... feels like standing at the corner of the street n when i see cars coming, i will run, so i get hit & die.

but i know that's not the solution.

so yarh... i'm jz keep quiet n be myself.

smiling.... laughing.... pretend that everything is fine.

seriously, i need a break.

i should take a break n think abt myself...

i think one of these days i wanna go out. yep alone. =)

Btw, last wk nearly all SR staff went to zali n friend's chalet...
to watch zali & friend's drag show(btw, i dont know y it called drag show.. haha)

but it was sooo fun k... aku, yati n the rest of us non-stop ketawe....

ade M18 content jugak yerrr... ade budak bawah umor tengok pulak tuhhh...

k... aku malaz nak bobal... let pictures do the talking....

The smile

2009-01-27T20:55:00.005+08:00

~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@

When you see me,

You'll probably see a smile,

That covers up my sorrow,

& my pain deep down inside.

You'll probably never know,

Why I grieve or why I sigh;

They are hidden by a smile,

While on the inside I cry.

You may think I'm cheerful,

But my smile surely lies;

I wallow in my sadness,

& only God knows why.

My heart knows it all,

But my smile says otherwise;

& the sound of my laughter,

Drowns out all my cries.

The depression I am in,

Is surely not worthwhile;

But all the pain I feel,

Is hidden by a smile.

~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@

2009-01-19T16:51:00.005+08:00

Hati ini rasa terhimpit...

Berat...

Sesak...

dengan dugaanMu yang datang tanpa jemu.

tanpa diduga...

aku mengheret diriku ke dunia baru...

yang dapat membuka mata, minda dan hati erti dunia sebenar...

ku tidak kuat menanggung keperitan ini....

cukupla sandiwaraku...

cukupla lakonanku selama ini...

Tuhan,

ringankanlah dugaanMu ini...

aku lemah...

aku dhaif...

ku tak ingin menitiskan airmataku ini lagi...

ku lelah...

ku letih....

Tuhan,

ku tak ingin semua ini terjadi...

dugaanMu terlalu kuat dan berat....

membuat ku terkapai-kapai dalam kegelapan mencari kekuatan...

namun,

aku cuba menempuhinya...

aku cuba meredahnya.....

ku tak pasti dapatkah ini berakhir?

atau,

ia tetap berterusan tanpa akan berakhir?

Tuhan,

ku merayu padaMu....

berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk aku hadapi semua ini...

Andai dapat ku ubahkan semua,

ku ingin bahagia seperti dahulu..

sewaktu ku masih kecil...

tiada kepahitan hidup yang harus ditelan....

tiada penderitaan hidup yang harus ditempuhi...

Andai dapat ku ubahkan semua,

ku ingin melatih diri ini supaya berdikari...

agar aku dapat berdiri sendiri tanpa bantuan sesiapa....

agar aku dapat menjadi kuat dan tidak menitiskan airmata lagi...

Andai dapat ku ubahkan semua,

ku ingin buktikan pada orang yang ku sayang..

bahawa sesungguhnya aku amat menyayangi mereka tanpa jemu....

dan ku bersumpah,

tidak ada sesiapa pun yang dapat menggantikan tempat mereka....

walaupun ada orang cuba memisahkan kita....

Namun,

ini semua adalah andaian sahaja....

ku tak pasti adakah ia akan menjadi realiti.

ku menanti jawapannya....

yang kadangkala membuatkan aku lemas dalam tangisan....

sedu dalam dakapan....

Ku paksakan diri untuk senyum...

untuk ketawa....

agar mereka tidak dapat melihat keadaan yang sebenar....

ku cuba untuk menjadi kuat...

bukan untuk diriku sahaja...

tetapi untuk orang sekelilingku....

ku harap......

suatu hari nanti.....

segala penderitaan

segala kesedihan....

segala keperitan...

segala kesengsaraan....

akan berakhir....

Insya Allah... Aaamin.

-Farah-

2009-01-19T16:28:00.002+08:00

hey.. got my pay. better than my previous pay. Alhamdulillah.
so last sat i decided to take my family for a treat.
i took them to my workplace. yeah. secret recipe.
i'm really happy to see their smile & laughter.
sampai jugak niat aku nak belanje dorng. =)

after our dinner, we went to orchard.
OMG!!!! it was sooo crowded. and u noe, i hate it.
i really feel bad when my bro kept looking at snickers & shirts.
i know he really want me to buy for him but u see, i've got alot of things to settle.
haiz...
I'm sorry farhan... akak bukan tknk belikan... tapi akak tak cukup duit.
insya Allah klw next pay akak lebih sikit, akak belikan... sorry. =(

i just dunnoe why i dun have any mood at that moment.
penat or maybe im thinking too much.
about the past. hmm...

yesterday, i had a blast time at east coast. eventho at times i just feel like crying.
moody & scream.
but overall, i really had fun.
me, didi & sal main basikal.. nurul & yati main rollerblade.
k... aku da lame tk main basikal soo i was like kaku giler k...
nervous + panic + takot+ berdebar²... but after a while, da ok.. hehe.
then aku try rollerblade plak.
it was like...OMG!!!! macam nak pengsan seyy...
susah giler k.... thanx to yati & nurul. they helped me alot. never give up on me.
lagi² yati... semangat giler. she keeps holding me.. tak lepas pun. hehe.
aku jalan skit, jatuh.
gerak skit, jatuh.
pusing skit, jatuh.
jalan pulak tertonggek²... ade omputih nie.. tgk² aku.. sial btol.
then..... aku give up jugakla atlast. hehe.
reached home about 1.30am.
alek terus pengsan. penat giler... satu badan saket.

i'm stress!!!!!

2009-01-13T15:28:00.002+08:00

I hate when they talk about my future. I know both of you really concern about me... try to support me in every way. But right now i can't think about my future. i can't see my future. i dun know what i'm good at. i dun wanna think about it. i'm stress!!!!! i'm scared!!!!
i just afraid that i might break my parent's heart. i afraid that i make a wrong decision. =(
please God.... let me make it through this...
Let me bring the smile back to their faces....
Let me make them proud of me...
Let me change my family's life....
Let me taste the victory.

i always love my friends. (of course the one who treat me nice.)
i want to see them happy everyday. no tears. no pain. no sorrows.
i try my very best to be a good friend. to be there for them when they need someone to talk to.
or to share their joy or sorrows.
NOBODY can replace my BESTFRIEND.
and I CHOOSE MY OWN BESTFRIEND.
Di, i always wanna see u happy. laugh. smile.
it's tearing my heart apart to see u cry or sad....
even if i befriend with a lot of ppl... u will always be my bestfriend.
i love u sooo much, teman. thanx for being there for me when i needed u the most.
i really appreaciate it alot.
same goes to my other friends...
i love u all. thanx soo much for all the advice & the support.
i'm sorry if i ever hurt u all in every way. please forgive me...
i will try my hardest to be a good friend. Insya Allah.

GO AWAY HEADACHE!!!!

2009-01-10T01:52:00.006+08:00

~~push my pain away~~
~~I hope it will last forever~~

~~BFF~~

~~Let's run and forget everything~~

~~my painkiller~~

**LOVE them a lot**

-edited by fadilah aka Didi. MY BFF-

I love them alot.

They give me strength to move on in life...

...

....

.....

.......

.........

..............

i have a bad headache.

not sure the reason...

maybe because i always sleep late

gastric because i always skip my meals

think too much....

abt anything that cross into my mind.

wadeverla...

it will go away....

wanna go to sleep nw..

im exhausted~

ZOO OUTING!!!!

2009-01-06T12:26:00.007+08:00

I'm working today at 6. so still hv some time to update my blog. esp when my bloody stupid bro is schooling. hehe.

Well.. yesterday. i really had a wonderful time with my colleagues.
yeah... we went to the zoo... gerek kan??
k.. i know i was sooooo noisy n loud. hehe. sampai zali(my manager) said... "bisingla!! aku campak kau kat kandang babi baru tahu....."
btw, i can do some of the animals sound...(k.. tk penting!)
and u know, all animals are my friends... fad said...."smue kawan kau ehk...."
i replied, "aahla.. klw tak, aku pn kene masok sini jgk tapi aku sempat larikan diri..."
fad said..."abey lepas tuh troz kau kai tudung la?"
i replied..."aah lerrr.... da taubat."

Den, we went to the animal show.. it was like... "eh, dabes da?? tuh je binatang die?? ooookkkkehhh....." den continue our walking...

The best part is, when we went to the kids corner ke ape ntah...
bole main air tau! it was sooooooo fun... den, i was thinking, since i bring xtra clothes.
yela.... didi, yati & me have to go to work at 6. so... bole la main air...
den, they were sooooo bad....!!!! dorng tolak aku kt air... n yeah.... im all wet...
so.... we continue our walking dgn baju basah². heeeee.

Yang klaka kan.... kat 1 tmpat nie.... ade butterflies, monyetss, yg madagascar nyer binatang.. ape name die ehk.... me & yati holding hands je tau.... we were just tunduk je.... nak pekik, the sign says "NO SHOUTING." hehe.
i love butterflies coz they are soo pretty. tapi aku takot.... same goes to all animals...
i find some animals cute esp monyet.... OMG!! they are soo cute.. but im really scared to touch them. kene gigit ke... how? nanti tgn i da tk cantik lagi.... i kan model. =P

After dat, kite semue pn lepak kejap depan zoo... dgn satu² muke penat....
and the tiring n worst part is... didi, yati & me have to go to work at 6.
Thank God nurul rent her BFF's car. so she sent us to work.
she dun know the road, which xpressway to go... but naseb baik didi ingat jgk coz die slalu jalan road tuh naek motor bpk die. hehe.

I really had a great time. i hope we can do it again next time.
so..... planning our next outing!!!!

Now, i'm happy with my life...
I enjoy every moment with my friends.

We share everthing together in common or the opposite.

I appreciate things around me..

That knows how to make me

Happy....

Smile....

Laugh....

Thanks for the memories...

Thanks for the support...

I need you.....

I love you....

-Farah-

**Nurul & me****Fad, didi & me****didi & me****Doris, me & nurul****nurul is looking for her long lost fren****didi, ntahla sape, zali & me**
**BFF**

**us with Ah Meng**

**Me & yati**

**us without didi**

My Graduation Day.

2009-01-03T00:41:00.006+08:00

My grad day was a blast!!!!

atlast.... dabes jgk skola... hehe.

we have to wear black jubah n beige tudung.

and as usual... dtg lmbt.. heeeeeee =D

bgn lmbt yer... start at 10. but i came at 10.30. =P

actually, my plan was after the grad day, we go somewhere then jumpe didi coz she's working..

tp.... hmph~!

semue tak jadi yer....

semue alek.. xcept me & husna.. aku bwk baju xtra... tkkan nak kai jubah kn...

"-.-

we just went to bugis then husna went to meet her boyfie...

while aku plak, single kn.. nak jumpe sape la... =(

so i went to SR. alone.

tunggu kat sane smpai tertido... really tired. heeee.

after that, didi & me went to IMM hantar icing sugar kat BOB(our manager)

round² sane kejap then alek...

soo... let the pix do the talking... heeeeee.....

~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@

**my classmate.** **mel, shefah, kames & me**
**choreographer..hehe.**
**with cikgu Diba..our form tch**
**hyrun, dira, husna, yati & farah**

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-01T23:20:00.011+08:00

Hey.. HAPPY NEW YR TO ALL~~!!!
i've been waiting for sooo long to update my blog.
my bloody stupid idiot bro didnt give me the chance to surf the net even for a sec.
i just keep quiet bcoz i dun wanna argue over petty things. penatla....
and seriously, i'm sooo damn tired with my job.
smpai ruma ard 12+. aku tidur kul 3-4. somtimes bobal ngn didi, yati or husna or conference ramai². if not, i jz playing my guitar.

My new yr resolution is...

-i wanna be happy. and stop faking my perfect smile.
coz i'm really tired of crying.

-i wanna make everyone ard me happy. especially MY BFF n frens.
no more tears girls. i really love u all.

-i wanna be strong and independant.
so i can face everything on my own.

-i wanna enjoy my singlehood.
have fun n live to the fullest.

Teman,
hadirmu telah memberi sinaran baru dalam hidupku...
kau sentiasa disisiku memberi semangat agar aku terus berdiri teguh melawan segala rintangan.
tidak kau jemu mendengar & memberi nasihat kepadaku.

Teman,
ku sangat bersyukur dengan pertemuan yang tidak disangka...
ku sangat bersyukur dengan kehadiranmu yang memberi seribu makna dalam hidupku.
ku sangat bersyukur kerana Tuhan telah temukan kita.

Terima kasih teman untuk segala-galanya....
ku amat menyayangimu.....

*******************************************************************

NO MORE ANNIVERSARY.

2008-12-24T02:30:00.006+08:00

Supposingly, today is our 3rd anniversary...

24.december.2005

we never celebrate our anniversary for the pass 2 yrs.

1st yr, i was soo bz wif werk dat we cudnt celebrate it.

2nd yr, we didnt hv money to go out.

so...

we promise dat we will celebrate our 3rd anniversary.

unfortunately, things changed.

we are not together.

he's wif someone else.

while i'm here alone....

i thot maybe.. jz maybe we could celebrate it for the first n last tym.

a last gudbye.

he agreed at first.

but yesterday he cancelled it.

he said, he wanna let go of everyting...

which i also dun understand wad does he means by everting?

so...

once again....

i accept the fact dat we will never celebrate our anniversary ever.

i hope u're happy wif ur life....

coz all i noe, im happy wif my life.

but sometimes im a fraud.

yeah...

pretending to be lyk 'a very happy-go-lucky n cheerful gal'

but sometimes, i jz cant hide it...

coz dis tears will jz rolling down my cheeks.

My EX-Zauji,

i hope u happy wif her...

dis is ur decision.

u chose dis.

i jz go with the flow...

even if it hurts me badly.

im fine.

i will get used to it.

so NO u & me..

NO yayang n bucuk..

NO 24.dec.

NO zufar yunari...

My EX-'azizi,

thanx for the care n concern.

thanx for all the sacrifices.

thanx for ur love.

and last,

thanx sooooooo much for the pain n suffering.

How i wish this time never ends,

with all the time together we have spend...

how i wish i forever get to see your eyes,

without saying any goodbyes...

but i always wish that we will be back together again,

but all we have now is pain.

-ARY-

-12.00am, wed 24.dec-

Futsal. im sux!

2008-12-24T01:55:00.003+08:00

Tadi aku maen futsal ngn didi, yati n nurul n kwn² nurul...

seriusly, drg maen bagos giler k....

n accept e fact farah dat u're baek giler... blah dr tmpt tuh... hahahaha..

eh u noe wad, one of the player sane mrh aku la seyyy....

aku tau la aku tk bagos maen.... tkyh nk kerek la....

ade coach lg.... waaargghhhhh!!!!! makin stress aku...

u noe, all i tink is not how to improve my skills but....

"plz stop e game now.. plz stop e game nw..."

and...

"jgn pass bola kt aku.....jgn pass bola kt aku...."

makeih.... mcm nk blah je dr tmpt tuh.. nnti kecoh plak...

end up, aku yg malu. so step cool kejar bola... tendang bola...

dlm ati, hanye Allah saje yg tau...

MY NEW RED HAWT GUITAR!!!!!

2008-12-22T13:18:00.006+08:00

**my red hot guitar**

**i love my new baby**

hey darlings~~!!

i jz bought new guitar!!!

yeah!! 60bux. erm... expensive?? bley² la ehk...

seriously, i dunnoe how to play at all!! at all k....

but no worries, im trying to learn n prac nw.... hehe.

last wk, i went out wif didi n yati..

i reli had a blast tym bought guitar at bras basah den went to karaoke.

jz e 3 of us...

i was sooooooo happy.

eventho in e middle of e fun, e two of dem were distracted by some personal things.

after dat, we went to esp.. lepak.. maen guitar...(mcm phm uh.. tp tk tau maen lngsung)

u noe, smue org tgk kte 3 coz kte 3 bwk guitar... as if aru alek dr jamming. huahuahua...

my sacrifice

2008-12-20T01:47:00.005+08:00

i just came back from werk. very tiring le...

i swap my shift wif lina. 10am-10pm.

i suppose to werk at 6pm-10pm.

she's sick so i help to cover her shift... heee.

smlm keje 12pm-10pm...

seriously damn bz seyyy... nk xmas n new yr kn... den ppl dpt bonus summore.

haiyaa.... full house lorr. lari sane sini.. mcm org giler.. den dpn customer kene senyum.

hmm... f&b job is very tiring. i dun tink i can stick to dis job.

but for e meantime, of coz la keje dulu.. nk carik keje susah sey.. n one more ting, mlz nk carik den tunggu drg kol lg.. leceh la seyy.. hehe.

^^^ *****************************************************^^^

i sacrifice something.

something reali big.

hurt n torturing.

but im doing fine.

im not regret at all.

im doing all dis not for myself..

but for both of u..

even if u say u dun love her as much as u love me, the love is still there.

and btw, why u still put her photo in ur wallet?

honestly, i dun force u to love me or to take me back.

u regret all ur wrongdoings?

i forgive everything. it jz dat i wont forget every single of it.

and one more thing, why shud we celebrate our anniversary when we are just TWO FRENS or EX-LOVER???

Since u dun wanna let go of me or her, so...

im letting u go.. again.

dat's it.

another gudbye.

this time, forever.......

what i've learnt in life.

2008-12-18T01:06:00.004+08:00

Hey peeps~ i hope u njoy my new skin.. thanx soo much to yati & fiyza.

btw,

my life has been pretty fine.

im trying to pick up one by one the reasons behind those tragedy that happened in my life.

the good & the bad.

i take every single of it for me to change into a better person.

human make mistakes. and they learn from it.

i understand abt life better than before.

thanx to the people dat came into my life.

either bring happiness in me or sorrows.

i appreciate them alot.

they tought me the real meaning of love.

the real meaning of life. happiness. sacrifices.

sometimes u hv to sacrifice for the person dat u love.

sacrifice anyting. even if it hurts u.

but dats love. equal to pain. a beautiful pain.

each and everyone of us has their own personality.

we cant expect dem to be lyk us.

and of coz, dey cant expect us to be lyk dem.

but u noe, sometimes we hv to change for dem.

from ur habit till ur hobby. the tings dat shud be change.

lyk i mention earlier, sacrifice.

so once again, things happened for a reason.

u wont find the reason unless u accept the fact n take everything in positive way.

by doing dat, insya Allah... u will find the reason. a good reason of coz.

*Allah tkkn menguji manusia di luar kemampuannya*

I'm sorry.

2008-12-15T01:07:00.006+08:00

Sum ppl jz dun understand wad i've been thru for e past few mnths..

yeah..

go ahead...

hate me..

mad at me....

leave me if u want...

point ur finger at me...

wad can i do?

all i seek is ur forgiveness.

i didnt wish dis to happen.

all the pain, the cries, the suffering...

who ask for dat?

lyk i said many times....

all i want is HAPPINESS.

is dat too much to ask?

i kip myself bz by working long hrs at secret recipe.

forget abt everyting...

but i failed...

my mind easily distracted by anyting.

but i remember sum ppl advise me...

"if ur 1st priority is studies... den focus on dat. dun let anyting stop ur way."

yep. its true.

i wanna study ferst... klw ade rezeki lbh, aku nk blaja luar negeri...

bkn nk lari dr masalah but jz wanna be independant.

lyk ppl told me...

"farah.. independant la skit... asek nk mengharap org laen je..."

yeah.. im trying nw....

klw aku ade prob ke... better kip it to myself...

i always pretend to be happy.

make ppl laugh coz wenever i hear dey laugh... i'm happy.

i'm gonna hide my tears.. my sorrows....

biarla....

ku pendamkan saje ape tersirat dikalbu ini...

biarla...

ku mengadu pd MAHA KUASA sahaja.

"My heart broke into pieces.

the pieces is nowhere to be found.

i dun wanna put it back together

coz i afraid dat it might break...

and hurt me..

again. forever. always."

-Farah-

new story abt MR. I

2008-12-09T23:45:00.004+08:00

helo. i hv sumting important to share.

i jz knew e whole story abt MR. I.

one of my fren asked MR. I's cousin abt him. y he didnt cntact me n stuff...

and u noe wad??

he's a sweet-talker.

he's a playboy.

he jz fooling ard wif gals.

no wonder he told me he always bz....

bz wif other gals.

i reli fucking hate him.

he dumped me!

he cheated on me!

but u see...

dere's no point crying over spilt milk.

it had happened.

let it be...

i jz pray to Allah to always kip me strong. all the tym.

org mcm gini, hidup tkkn slamat. n tkkn bahagie.

aku cume berharap Allah akn tunjukkn die jln yg betol.

dan pimpin die ke jln yg lurus.

biar die bukak mate besar² yg die telah lukekn ati byk pmpan.

termasok mak die.

and one ting...

im reli tired of crying... everynyte.

why im still crying in the middle of the night

wen i noe dere's no one gonna wipe away my tears.

i always console myself dat im gonna be fine.

and of coz, everyting happen for a reason.

dats it for now everyone.

gd nyte.

my secret.....

2008-12-09T00:03:00.003+08:00

hey guys... i've bn keeping dis secret for a long tym..
and also frm everyone.
only my close frens know abt it.
im hurt. again.
second time.
i cried. again.
many time.

im single again. curious? here's e story....
aft my broke up wif ary, i decided to move on.
to prove to him dat if he can hv sumone else... n so do i.
hmm...
bt eventually, im not hepi. at all.
maybe for a few wks only.
i knew dis one guy.. his name is MR.I
he's soo sweet at ferst.
but as tym pass by... we decided to get into rship.
i noe its too early.. but i reli thot he can give me happiness.
better than ary.
but u see, he always make me cry.
e not-so-worst part.....
wenever i cry, he nvr console me... at all.
he even mad at me.
"da la u... enuf!!!"
get it?? is dat how he pujuk his gf???
so wenever i wanna cry, i will cry to myself..alone.
and he's always bz... always!!!
he didnt hv tym to call or atleast msg me to wish gd nyte or sumting...
wen aku tegur, die mrh...
die ckp die bz keje... die penat... nape aku tk phm die...
fine. aku diam.
aku sabar...
maybe im being too demanding.
but rship nids communication. get it????
k.. die bdk motor. super4.
bt i dun care abt motor or krete or papela...
all i care is how u treat ppl... treat ur gf...
he's full of reasons...
ade jela alasan die...
i jz dunnoe y we get into rship.
btw, tk smpai sbln pn kte stead. aru brp minggu.

and e worst part is....
he didnt cntact me for 4days.
from fri-mon.
b4 dat, he ask for 'dat'.
get it? dat ting dat we shudnt do? only aft nikah....
get wad i mean??
hmmm....

all i want is to be happy...
n i thot im happy.
but IM NOT!!!!
IM SUFFERING.
IM HURT.
i always pray to Allah to give me strength...
i reli nid dat.
now, aku serahkn smue nye pd takdir...
biarla....
aku redha....

and do u noe wads my strength???
u guys; all my frens dat cnsider me as ur frens...
i nid u, frens. (all who care abt me)
i swear i do.
please give me strength.
i wanna thanx to all my frens dat support me frm e start.
eventho, dey noe wad i did is wrong..
thanx soo much.

lastly, thanx to MR A².
u try ur best to cheer me up eventho u dunnoe e whole story.
u cnfess to me that u hv a crush on me...
actually, me too. I HV A CRUSH ON U...
but sadly, i dun wanna be e 3rd party...
i wan u to be happy.
thanx soo much MR A².
i reli appreciate ur care n concern.

sooooo damnnn bored...

2008-11-30T22:11:00.006+08:00

hey peeps~~!!!!

miss me?? hehe.

i bet u dun. sapela farah nie kan..... =P

noe wad...?

i reli thot after my As, i will hv some fun or atleast enjoy myself...

but duh~ "-.-

boring nak mampoz la seyy..

bole jd giler siak dok uma je....

i jz slacking at hm dis whole wk.... doing noting.

well actually... tklah noting...
ade jgk uat bnde....

btw, aku ade 1 hobi aru.... or maybe bakat aru... khekhe.

welll...... ermm.... uat lirik n lagu... (mcm phm ehk....)

the music more to punk la gitu... yep. eng song.

but sum ppl say, mcm lgu pop or rnb.

ish... bedek seyy... blm ade music lg wad.....

nnti insya Allah la ehk... ku nk gi jamming uh...

amcm?

bdk tudung jd drummer? cool or wad siak? haha.

but dis is serious.

ku nk blaja maen drum n guitar or maybe keyboard...

wallaweii.... klw smue nie pass, pasti krg bangge ehk dpt kwn mcm farah?

wuahahaahaha....

tp farah tkkn lupekn krg uh klw da jd popular... heeeee.

but but but....

nxt wk mcm tetbe full plak. hehe

mon nk kua ngn didi & yati... ntahla drg nk gi ane...

tues blm tau...

wed & thurs keje ptg... 6-10pm.

fri tlg mak...

sat ade open house... adk gue yg last sunat. heeee.

sun blm tau....

sapela nk ajk farah kua kn... tsk tsk tsk.... ku menantii.... heee..

kla... till here den...

daaa~~~

~moving on~

2008-11-11T23:10:00.004+08:00

Is dis love?

prove to me....

i dun wanna live in confusion.

i dun wanna hurt no more.

i dont know wads wrong wif me....

feeling soo down n confused lately...

tears rolling down my face...

screaming in silence...

i need strength to move on wif my life.

i need happiness...

please....

~*moving on wif ma life...*~

2008-11-05T21:17:00.002+08:00

hey hey hey....

da lame tk update blog ehk....

bz wif my Alvls....

hmmm... so u guys must be wondering hw's my As ehk...?

well...... some of e papers was lyk quite easy... okla... doable.

but some of e papers was lyk..."wad e hell is dis....? " troz otak blank.

haiya..... still got few papers to go.... bt nw, 1 wk break.

den cntinue 17nov....

sooo tired lorr....

okkeh~

bye~

FARAH is HER name

my brain gonna explode!!!!

I LOST MY HP!!!!

gua just pass beb!!!

I'm tired. hmph,

eeeerrrgghhh!!!!

NEW MODULE.

colourful stories.

CAKE PROMOTION.

exams, babat, dark circle.

some words are better left unsaid

i'm happy with my result. =))

i wish i was somebody else.

WHAT THE HELL???

You are better than best! =)

Just hold on, cause i can be the one to give u more.

i'm exhausted hunneh~

1 more paper to go.

exam baby~

HEADACHE~!!!

YOU are my soul.

MY BAD DAY & OBSESSED~

What is Obsessive Love?

Obsessive Love, Love Obsession, Love Addiction, or Relationship Addiction are all common terms when referring to "Obsessive Love."

Definition

Forms/stages of obsessive love

thanx for everything, BD

karaoke+movie+crap and lame jokes= FUN!!!!

maaf.

i'm backkkkkk honey~~!!!!!!

I got urine infection.

the definition of stress. heeee.

My first day of school.

Someone start a new sch. heeee.

Gemini.

GeminiThe Twins

The Geminian Personality.

Geminian Likes and Dislikes.

private my blog.

FUTSAL.

psssssttt.... I LOVE YOU.

Maafkan aku :(

I HATE YOU, BLUE PIG.

what the hell is happening to my life now?

I love you, mama!

happy birthday mama!

**The smile**

i'm stress!!!!!

GO AWAY HEADACHE!!!!

ZOO OUTING!!!!

My Graduation Day.

Happy New Year!!

NO MORE ANNIVERSARY.

Futsal. im sux!

MY NEW RED HAWT GUITAR!!!!!

*my sacrifice*

what i've learnt in life.

I'm sorry.

new story abt MR. I

my secret.....

sooooo damnnn bored...

~*moving on*~

Gemini
The Twins

The smile

my sacrifice

~moving on~